My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
