she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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