This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
