My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
