If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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