the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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