party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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