someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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