Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
