I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
