jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
