Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
