Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
