Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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