He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
ā"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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