Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize