Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
