i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
being pregnant is like rehab
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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