you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
