Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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