so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
