This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
