is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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