and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
