I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
