she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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