You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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