Already got asked if we're dating
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
whose ass print is on the piano?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
