walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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