So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
