saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
