her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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