There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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