I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
