Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
