He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
honey bunches of taint.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Randomize
