11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I puked a lego.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
