you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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