I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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