READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
