He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
