Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
