Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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