You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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