why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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