hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
