Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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