wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
