TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
