these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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