She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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