i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
