So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
