Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
