Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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