Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
