if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
