You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
