Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
