I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
