it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
