whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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