Having a random hookup so left but love u
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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