a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
