I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
