I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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