quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
