I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
